I can’t say I wasn’t warned. 

When my wife and I were talking about having a grand-finale third child, she intoned, “You know, it could be twins. ... Would you be OK with that?” I brushed off this impossibility.

But now, one year in, I know the answer to the question: What’s it like to have twins? 

Why We Wrote This

When our essayist received a parenting curveball – twins – life as he knew it changed for good. Over time, this dad and primary caregiver to four kids learned to embrace “the life I’m being called to live.”

It’s like being shot out of a cannon straight into a giant whirling, sloshing blender – plonk! – and whenever things start to slow down a bit, someone hits the pulse button again. It’s like being dropped onto a treadmill that’s set to a dead sprint. You are not allowed to get off. Now, do that for four years.

For the more quantitatively oriented, perhaps some number crunching will help. In one weekend, my wife and I did 32 bottle feedings, with each one taking at least 20 minutes. That’s about 11 hours of feeding; factor in more than 40 diaper changes, and you’re looking at gobs of time spent on milk and diapers alone – no dishwashing, bottle cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, or cooking included. Did I mention we also have 6- and 8-year-old boys? 

Yes, those bundles have unleashed a special kind of bedlam into my life; fortunately, they have also taught me the best way to live it. 

When I first learned that we were having twins, I promptly fired up the worry train. 

Would my wife, now carrying two babies, be OK? Would the babies? What would happen to our older boys, who would now have to be raised by wolves? With seven years of parenting under my belt, I grasped the outlines of what this was going to demand of me. It was daunting. 

For the record, I wasn’t wrong. Once we brought the babies home, the slackline of life grew taut, its pace quickened. My wife and I somehow managed because we were doing it together. But when she returned to work, and I became the twins’ primary caregiver, I soon felt stretched beyond my limits. 

I could’ve been a hero, but I didn’t handle it particularly well. 

I became resentful about everything that was being asked of me, the unceasing demands on my time and energy, the relentless and punishing pace of life, the inability to step away for even a moment. I wanted to do the things that I wanted to do. I wanted my life back. 

See the problem?

I didn’t, until I stumbled upon these words from C.S. Lewis: 

“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life – the life God is sending one day by day.” 

You don’t need to have twin babies for Lewis’ words to resonate. They offer a critical insight: The incessant and often unwelcome interruptions we all experience, in whatever form they take, aren’t detours from life but signposts telling us how to live it.

So, when I finally lie down at the end of a long day, only to have my first grader wake up on cue with an upset tummy? It’s time to get up. When I’m writing and my wife hands me a baby with a dirty diaper? It’s time to clean up. When I’m watching the game and the bathroom door suddenly comes flying off its hinges? It’s time to call my father-in-law – he’s very handy. 

If you embrace Lewis’ instruction that each unpleasantry is fully worthy of our time and attention, domestic drudgery is transformed from something we have to do into something we are called to do. 

So, how am I faring these days, basking as I am in the golden afterglow of divine revelation? 

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I wish I could tell you that my kicking, screaming, and grumbling are no more. That without fail, I carry out my domestic duties with devotion and diligence. The truth is, I do more backsliding than a luger.

But I like to think that I rebound and refocus more quickly, because I have clarity about my mission. And, behind my dramatic sighs and eye rolls, I have found meaning and fulfillment in the life I’m being called to live day by day, moment by moment.